Inescapable Annoying Things
There are a million annoying things that happen in each and every day, do they add up enough to tip the scales?
“Micro-stresses” are tiny moments that disrupt the course of your day. For example, stubbing your toe on the coffee table, spilling a glass of milk, getting a sunburn, or having a long line at the checkout. These are usually unexpected and typically minor. However, we often struggle to tolerate annoying things and might underestimate their impact.
If we aren’t supposed to sweat the small stuff, how come the emotional impact of an annoying experience tend to linger? Well, what we know is that they can add up like filling a bucket with drops of water. Once full, this might lead to a full meltdown or lashing out. There is research that shows accumulated stressors can lead to daily fatigue, headaches, and GI symptoms. Also, people who report high levels of daily hassles were significantly more likely to develop generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, and panic disorder.
The most annoying part is that we can’t get away from the inevitability of annoying moments!
Okay… so, what do I do doc?
Well, turns out we actually have control over part of these situations, not the stubbing of the toe, but actually how we respond to the stubbing. Respond well and limit the impact, respond poorly and literally add additional stress for no extra fee. Some therapists use Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) skills in these types of moments.
Step 1. Radically accept the reality of what happened, rather than resisting it (I spilled my coffee, that just happened)
Step 2. Notice how you feel (WITHOUT JUDGMENT). So don’t think about how you “shouldn’t” feel this way (I am annoyed I spilled my coffee)
Step 3. Resist immediate action. Take a breath (or at least 7 since that can activate your parasympathetic nervous system to literally help your body calm down) (Heavy sigh, pause)
Step 4. Commit to an action that is actually in line with your values or is constructive (Respond with kindness or helpfulness by cleaning it up, respond with connection by calling a friend to discuss the ridiculousness of the situation while you wait in line again, or respond with flexibility by deciding to go to a different/ new place for coffee instead)
Want to copy paste into your own life? Want a little more guidance? Reach out. Let’s see if we can work together.